Every month on the 18th, I celebrate women. This month I sat down with Juliet, divorce and family law attorney, wife, mom and author recently features in Forbes magazine for her her book Divorce Wisdom.
We met this year through our incredible networking group, the Inner Circle with Lewis Howes. I was instantly drawn to her and her work. Having personally gone through a difficult divorce, it’s critical to have someone like Juliet who truly cares about both parties.
18th Style: Where are you from?
Juliet: I live in Vancouver, Washington which is pretty much where I have lived since I was 6.
18th Style: Tell us a bit about your background?
Juliet: I was raised in a typical American family. My parents are still married and live nearby me. I have one older brother who lives about an hour away. I followed a straight path from high school to college and then law school. I started practicing law for a big firm in my hometown right after graduation. Took and passed two state bar exams and worked hard to establish a practice and reputation for myself in the community.
I have had my own law firm for many years now. My primary area of practice is divorce or family law, but I also practice in the areas of guardianship, wills and estate administration. I work in very people-oriented areas of the law which I feel really suits my personality and strengths. I have been married 15 years and have two kids, age 7 (daughter) and 12 (son).
18th Style: You’re a mom and wife – what’s your favorite thing to you with your family when you’re not working?
Juliet: I just enjoy hanging out with my family. We love to celebrate holidays, special occasions and any event that warrant some celebrating. While we like to watch movies and chill out, we also like to be active – hiking, biking, etc. I am a runner and this past year we have been trying to get the kids to join us for various running events which has been fun. I am also a soccer mom who is learning not to use her voice as much at games per the request of my son. 😊
18th Style: Your book, Divorce Wisdom, was recently featured in Forbes, this is an incredible accomplishment. Can you tell us why you wrote this book?
Juliet: As a divorce lawyer, I’ve been through a lot of divorces and none of them are ever easy on the people involved. Stress, struggle and uncertainty are distracting or overwhelming for people experiencing divorce. With all my experience navigating divorces, I felt like I could provide a practical and smart resource for people thinking about divorce or going through one. I believe my book will help ground people during what is often the most traumatic life event they experience.
18th Style: I know we could focus the entire interview on this, but what’s one piece of advice you would give a couple going through a divorce?
Juliet: Learn and practice acceptance. If you are the person who wants the divorce, accept that it may take your spouse some time to catch up and process the ending of your marriage. Becoming upset with your spouse because he or she isn’t at the same place as you or ready to dive in and divide up assets won’t be productive.
Similarly, if you do not want the divorce, accept that it is happening because denying or avoiding it won’t help you in the long run. Further, both spouses should accept that they can’t control each other or every detail in the process. When a person accepts the reality of their circumstances in the moment rather than repel them, they are better able to tolerate all the uncomfortable feelings (anger, frustration, fear and the list goes on), think clearly and make the impactful decisions they need to in the process.
18th Style: According to an August 2017 article in US News and World Reports, statistically, divorce is much more detrimental for women financially, in your opinion, why is this?
Juliet: I think there are probably a few reasons why divorce is more detrimental financially for women. First, although a lot of progress has been made over the years in wage equality, women still tend to earn less than men overall according to the research.
Second, a transition from one household to two households occurs after a divorce. If a woman earns less than her former spouse, her income will not go as far to meet her separate household budget after divorce. Related to this is that if a woman hasn’t had a lot of involvement in managing the household finances before divorce, there may be a learning curve for her after divorce.
Third, women are still predominantly in the primary caregiver role for children which means they may be working less or not at all at different times during the marriage. This impacts not only what women earn at those times but also what they are accruing for retirement and their earnings record for Social Security. Women may also be playing catch-up in terms of their wages as they re-enter the workforce or return to full-time employment post-divorce.
18th Style: Ok, let’s lighten the topic of conversation and have a little fun. What are the last three things you bought from Amazon?
- Perfume for me
- Ski pants for my daughter
- Sparkly notepad for a gift
18th Style: Favorite televisions shows?
18th Style: If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?
Juliet: I would like to fly. I think it would be cool to be able to see everything from higher vantage point. It might also increase my chances of being on time if I could get there quicker.
18th Style: Favorite quote or saying?
Juliet: “Have courage and be kind.”
18th Style: Lastly, I love fun facts. Tell us something people wouldn’t know about you? It can be anything.
Juliet: It isn’t necessarily that I don’t like orange as a color, but more of a coincidence that my least favorite foods are orange. I don’t like yams, sweet potatoes, pumpkins, carrots or cantaloupe. I am also not a big fan of oranges themselves.
Interested in purchasing Divorce Wisdom?
Divorce Wisdom is available through all major online retailers like Amazon, Barnes & Noble and iBookstore.